Troy Hawke Tickets

Troy Hawke, a.k.a. the sole employee of The Greeter's Guild, managed by Liverpool F.C.'s Jan Molby, is very, very funny. His show, consumately cohesive and masterfully droll, revolves around the cosmic conspiracy that he uncovers through applying the principals of the Scrabblean School of Mathematics. Hawke is not only a magnificent specimen of smoking-jacket-clad customer service, but also a stage presence as impressive as the great Sir Lawrence Olivier if he had played a fin de siècle dandy in a delightful comedy by Oscar Wilde. Unfortunately, in the sweaty confines of the Norwood Concert Hall in Adelaide, the crowd was packed in like the proverbial can of sardines, and indeed the olfactory result was rather reminiscent of a can of sardines that had been left out in the sun during our recent spate of 42°C days. That's a heatwave for any of our stateside brethren who are metrically challenged. And we Aussies (pronounced with a hard z sound at the centre, not the sibilant lisp that you Damnèd Yankees affect) had such high hopes for your nation when you proved to be early adopters of a decimalised currency, only to witness the tragic, anthemic repercussions for your doomed youth who are forced to memorise how many gallons there are in a furlong and how many nautical miles comprise an ounce, before converting inches to bushels, then dodge live rounds on their way to the school canteen to consume their carcinogenic, high-fructose-corn-syrup-dowsed, deep-fried, lard-ridden provisions at recess.) Oh, dear. I seem to have lost my initial train of thought. The point I wish to make is this: see Troy Hawke live, but do so at a venue that is not as crowded as a 75%-off-everything full stock liquidation clearance sale at Tiffany's if the staff were to simultaneously hand out free croissants and cold-drip coffee to the homeless denizens of New York City.